Tuesday, August 26, 2014

"Beautiful"--To Me--Is....

Blogging Friends.... Sorry for not posting at all last week!! I feel like a terrible Blogger lately!! And I haven't got any reasons or excuses for my absence from Beautifully Unique, as last week was not very busy!! Love you later.

Taken from my private Word document journal/diary entry!! Some changes were made, as per usual!!

Feel-sorry-for-me pity parties. I have--throughout my adult Life--thrown several. More than I can count, I'm afraid!! All because I live with unwanted learning disabilities. I especially despise my premature short-term memory loss!! Yes. I have--throughout my adult Life--thrown some feel-sorry-for-me pity parties. Nothing serious, lest anybody wonder!! I've learned over the years that I can quickly bounce back from feel-sorry-for-me pity parties!! Not to mention. I can also learn from them!! And, while I do experience thoughts/feelings/emotions regarding having folliculitis decalvans {Some positive. Others negative.} I have--somehow!!--evaded any feel-sorry-for-me pity parties!! Yet, whenever I read about other people's journeys with hair loss-related diseases/issues, their stories are all the same. Hopeless. Despondent. Depressed. I was researching folliculitis decalvans sometime in the beginning of Summer, and came across several forums that were written by fellow Kindred Spirit sufferers of my disease. Same sad stories. One person even wrote these words. "It is attacking my confidence and driving me into depression at an age where I should be getting ready to graduate and begin my career. I'm at the point where I've lost my drive for self improvement and my desire to even leave the house." Mmmm.... Then, being driven by such desolate thoughts/feelings/emotions, I made a promise to myself. I will not let folliculitis decalvans and hair loss issues make me hopeless, despondent or depressed!! So instead? I count my blessings and am grateful. I find humor in the situation. I smile. I laugh. I maintain a positive attitude. I evade tearful mood swings. I choose joy. Because I have at last learned that happiness is a choice!! And I choose to let folliculitis decalvans change me in only positive ways!! For during the course of this Summer alone, I have evolved, grown and matured as a person!! All because of an embarrassing disease called folliculitis decalvans. How so? Aside from counting my blessings and being grateful? Finding humor in the situation? Aside from smiling? Laughing? Maintaining a positive attitude? Aside from choosing joy and happiness? Uncharacteristically evading tearful mood swings? Oh, where to begin....? I have learned unexpected lessons in vanity. By the way? I continue to learn this lesson!! I have found myself crushing on Vin Diesel. What? He is completely bald!! And I have never crushed on a celebrity who does not have any hair!! Ever!! This is a cosmic first for me!! See, every male celebrity that I've ever crushed on has hair!! I have accepted folliculitis decalvans' inevitable progression. Because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, anyway!! I have gained self-acceptance. And I continue to learn this lesson!! I have become less self-conscious. And I continue to learn this lesson!! Yeah, I am actively working on that one!! I have begun noticing bald/balding men and--for the very first time!!--I find them attractive!! Did I mention that I'm crushing on Vin Diesel?! I have gained self-acceptance. Again. Because Life--for me--is seemingly one self-acceptance issue after another!! And I have completely redefined my definition of "beautiful". I know now more than ever that it isn't physical appearances!! For "beautiful"--to me--does not mean a pencil-thin body. No. "Beautiful"--to me--does not mean being laugh line-free. Quite the contrary!! I, for one, find laugh lines very attractive!! Especially Robert Downey Jr.'s!! And "beautiful"--to me--definitely does not mean having no surgically-created Frankenstein-like craniosynostosis scars and a full head of hair!! Because "beautiful"--to me--is what's inside.


2 comments:

Molly The Wally said...

Wise words and yes we agree beauty is not about physicality bit it comes from within. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
Best wishes Molly

Raelyn said...

Molly....
Thank-you for the comment, Friend!!
"Wise words and yes we agree beauty is not about physicality bit it comes from within." Thanks, Friend!! I love that you used the word "physicality"!! Ah!! That is a great word!! ;op