Monday, July 23, 2012

My Dog's Addiction


Blogging Friends.... I am in the mood to write a humorous post today, for some reason!! I have no idea why!! However, what with the Aurora, Colorado "Batman" tragedy weighing fresh on our minds, perhaps humorous is just what we need right about now!! This is a true accusation, though, regarding Rose!! Well!! I am getting ahead of myself here. Read on!!  

Addictions. People suffer from them. There is alcoholism. Drug addiction. Even lesser life-threatening stimulants such as coffee, or soda pop. Come to think of it, in this case, everybody has addictions!! Of the human race, anyway!! But, what about canines? Can they suffer from addictions, too? Perhaps. Although, I have no factual information to back this up!! In Rose's case, however, there is one sweet-tasting type of food that she seemingly cannot consume enough of. Chocolate. That's right!! Chocolate. It is true!! In the nearly twain years that I have shared with Rose, I've had to swiftly pry open her mouth, if memory serves me right, and pull out three forms of chocolate!! Yeah. My dog has a problem. It's called an "addiction" to chocolate!! Does Rose not know that this is a dangerously unhealthy type of food for her? Does she not know? Chocolate contains two ingredients which could kill her!! Kill her. Caffeine and theobromine. Lethal ingredients to canines. Does she not understand how many adrenaline-rushed panic attacks that this "addiction" of hers has produced for me? My heart pounds like some rapid drum beat!! Every time!! Does she even care how many occasions that I have saved her? Does she? All because I love this crazy Beautifully Unique mutt, and do not wish to lose her? Several weeks ago, I was vacuuming. When, I noticed Rose sneak down the hallway which leads to my parents' bedroom. I did not think much about it. Until, in the corner of my eye, I watched her emerge from the hallway. She was running. Toward my bedroom. In a smooth, cool, swift motion. And, if Rose were human, she would have laughed manically!! Sounding something like this: "Ah--ha--ha--ha--ha!!" If my Beagle cross were fluent in English, her words might have been: "I've got something I can't have...." How do I know this? Because Rose's stance while running toward my bedroom was guilty. It screamed of guilt. See, whenever Rose's mouth is holding something "forbidden", which has always been food products, she runs, full-speed, toward "our" bed!! Not very sneaky.... So, there I was, sitting beneath our dining room table, using the vacuum's hose to suck up Rose's wispy fur, when my eyes witnessed her guilt-ridden run!! Oh no!! Next thing I realized, life spun in rapid motion. Rose has something that she shouldn't!! And I had this sinking feeling that our culprit was chocolate!! So I needed to act fast!! The next thing I realized, my verbal response was: "Oh crap!!". Oops. I should really watch my language!! Now, I am not the most agile being who ever walked this planet. Nope!! So I stood up as fast as my legs would allow, first lying on the hard laminate floor with a baseball player-like stance who just slid into home. Real graceful. I skinned my elbow in the process, as well!! Which did not even hurt!! I turned off our vacuum cleaner, and allowed it to gently fall backwards onto the floor. I stood up. Time was racing against me, with the knowledge that Rose's mouth may contain something chocolate. Something poisonous. On wobbly legs, like a newborn foal, I ran to her, afraid that I'd been too late. I gently pried open Rose's mouth. She worked every muscle in her jaw against me, clenching her mouth shut. My stubborn girl!! However, I was born with an iron will!! I, too, can be stubborn!! And, I was determined to win this mini-battle against my dog!! So, I opened Rose's mouth, peered inside, and pulled out this saliva-drenched brown ball. Gasp!! A chocolate-coated malt ball!! I yelled at Rose, utterly displeased with her behavior. Thank God I was not too late!! Rose only got a slight taste!! Phew!! After carrying the slimy malt ball to our kitchen garbage, I resumed vacuuming. I will forgive Rose later!! Which I did!! That was when I reached the conclusion that my dog has a chocolate "addiction". Yeah. She needs help. Is there such a thing as rehab facilities for canines with chocolate problems? Hmmm. Choco-holic Anonymous? Oh!! And.... Do they have such rehab centers for people? Because I just might qualify....  













    

24 comments:

Finn said...

I see no problem with a chocolate addiction!!

Dip-Dip and the Bridge said...

Yikes, a chocolate addiction is the last thing a dog should have since it is poisoness to them. Better get her into drinking instead (only kidding, LOL.)
Lynne x

Raelyn said...

Finn....
Thank-you for the comment!!
Yeah. For humans, I suppose there is nothing wrong with a chocolate addiction. Nothing wrong at all!! However. Since you are canine, Finn, uh, well, then there is a problem!! You need help, my Golden Retriever Blogging Friend!! ;op

Molly The Wally said...

At least you got there in time, My guilty addiction , well pop by todays post , it says it all. Have a grand Tuesday.
Best wishes Molly

Charlene and Storm said...

LOL!!! you describe your storys so well Raelyn, i was laughing out loud to myself thinking of you sliding around trying to get off the floor and race to pry open Roses mouth. Glad it all turned out ok. xxx Hope your elbow dont hurt too bad xxx

Remington said...

Oh dear! Not chocolate....that can be bad....try beef jerky....much better....ha ha!

Raelyn said...

Lynne....
Thank-you for the comment!!
Drinking? Are we talking alcohol....? Because, uh, there is a problem concerning that addiction, as well. Alcoholic beverages are also poisonous to dogs!! So. I sincerely hope that you were kidding!! Hee, hee, hee.... ;op

Raelyn said...

Molly....
Thank-you for the comment!!
I did read today's Blog post!! And commented, actually!! So!! You were the guilty roast duck thief verdict!! I should have known.... Hee, hee, hee.... ;op

Raelyn said...

Charlene....
Thanks for the comment!!
I am so glad that you enjoy my stories!! I certainly love writing them!! ;op
Love, Raelyn.... And Rose, my BEAUTIFULLY UNIQUE "Mystery Dog"!!

Raelyn said...

Remington....
Rose here. Mama says that I should thank you for commenting. So, here goes. Thank-you!!
Beef jerky? Hmmm.... It is not lethal. But. Doesn't a beef jerky "addiction" take away the "fun" of chocolate being forbidden?! I think so!! BOL!! ;op

Nola said...

Haha oh I feel for you! Auggie is only a year and a half but in that short time I've pried a chocolate bar, 4 brownies, a chocolate chiP cookie, a chocolate Popsicle and a piece of chocolate cake. This dog will be the death of me!
Nola's only addiction is much healthier; she's addicted to her basket ball. She's popped 4 of them! And they're real ones
Nola's mom

Raelyn said...

Nola's mom....
Thank-you for the comment!!
Whoa!! No, I feel for you!! Seriously?! A chocolate bar, 4 brownies, a chocolate chip cookie, a chocolate popsicle and a piece of chocolate cake? Okay.... Rose's half a chocolate chip cookie, green M&M, and malt ball are no comparison!! Auggie needs help. Now!! ;op

scotsmad said...

BOL!

We can just imagine the scene.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Alison said...

That's a scary addiction for a dog to have. Zoe always tries to sneak a taste of our coffee when were not looking.

Raelyn said...

Daisy, Bella & Roxy....
Thanks for commenting!!
You can "just imagine the scene"? Really? Is my writing that descriptive? ;op

Raelyn said...

Alison....
Thank-you for the comment!!
Coffee? Yeah, that was my first dog, Shadow's "addiction". She would eat coffee grounds out of our kitchen garbage!! Ewwww.... ;op

KSO said...

Oh no not a choco addict, I hear that is the worst kind :)

Sankissjuice said...

Wow, I really am not aware of this problem with dogs. I guess like humans, they too like to intoxicate themselves. Maybe doggies are learning some bad habits from us humans. Perhaps Rose needs to see a dietician? Hehe j/k

Sankissjuice

Raelyn said...

KSO....
Thank-you for the comment!!
Yes. "Choco addicts" are the worst kinds.... For dogs, that is!! Hee, hee, hee.... ;op

Raelyn said...

Sankissjuice....
Thank-you for the comment!!
"I guess like humans, (dogs) too like to intoxicate themselves. Maybe doggies are learning some bad habits from us humans." Ha!! Good one!! ;op

MAXMOM IN SOUTH AFRICA said...

I can't help but smile and think that, perhaps, it's not Rose who has the chocolate addiction at all. Maybe she's trying to take it away from the human who is the purchaser of these products, and the one with the real addiction. lol! (Which human will own up? Hehehe!)

Raelyn said...

MAXMOMM....
Thank-you for the comment!!
Who me? Addicted to chocolate? I will never confess this problem.... Hee, hee, hee!! ;op

Lauren @ Life With Desmond said...

LOL!! Raelyn, this WAS a very funny post. Thank goodness Rose didn't get too much chocolate!

Raelyn said...

Lauren....
Thank-you for the comment!!
Yeah. I saved Rose's life, so she survived, thank goodness!! ;op