Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Progress Report


Blogging Friends.... This will be my only Blog post of the week, as we are not returning from our mini-vacation until Saturday!! I am so excited!!

"Work in Progress." Everybody has heard or seen this phrase. It is painted on construction signs. Expressed in song lyrics. Used as an excuse, even. But, truly? We are all a "work in progress". Correct? I am....    

I recently came across this quote. It was spoken sometime in 2011.

"Discipline is doing what you say you're gonna do and not doing what you say you're not gonna do. That's life. To me that's honor. I don't want to be a person who doesn't have honor." ~Robert Downey Jr.

There is so much beauty in this quote. Just considering how much personal progress Robert Downey Jr. has made throughout the years. Mmmm. I could cry. I am obviously sentimental when it comes to stories like his.... Speaking of progress. Less than one month ago, I expressed a self-revelation. Robert Downey Jr. and I are alike!! Creepy, but true. Personality. Idiosyncrasies. And.... "Character defects". Minus substance abuse on my behalf, of course!! I am stubborn. I refuse to listen. I make lame excuses. I lie. I break promises. He did all of that--plus more--until obtaining sobriety, maturity, and sanity!! Back to me. Okay. Several weeks have passed since I've attempted to "do right", quit my excuse-making habit, stop procrastinating, and keep promises. An entire Summer, perhaps. This should not be so difficult. Breaking bad habits and replacing them with good. Learning to change. Realizing that I was wrong all these years. But it is!! Oh, it is!! I have found myself constantly battling against relapsing into old habits. Huh. If memory serves me right, experts say that after twain consecutive weeks of beginning new habits, you no longer need to worry about relapsing. Hmmm. If this is indeed true, then these doctors have never met me!! Clearly. My battle against relapsing is much less intensified now. But twain weeks into it? I was fighting. Fighting to the nail!! I have since reached some further self-revelations. I possess a "one step forward, two steps back" personality flaw. Don't we all? I work toward something positive, continue it, then.... I stop. Why? I have posed myself with this very query all Summer long!! All Summer long. Laziness? Carelessness? A lack of discipline? Yes. Yes. And yes. I am a "psychiatrist at heart". Seriously!! I love such things as metaphors and psychology!! I am not intelligent enough for that profession, however. So, instead I write!! Contentedly!! The "psychiatrist within me" says that there is a "chain-link result" which motivates my bad habits, thus inviting several bouts of relapses. Beginning with excuses. Excuses link to bad habits. Bad habits link to guilt. Guilt links to lying. It is an endless cycle. And every "chain link" connects back to excuses!! No wonder I've felt like some hamster running in aimless circles all these years!! Because, according to my psychological theory, I have been!! Around and around and around. Oh. My. Goodness!! I have ridden some playground merry-go-round!! According to my Mother, I fell off of one as a little girl!! Ouch. So, metaphorically speaking, I "fell off" of my longtime "playground merry-go-round"!! Cried out in pain, nursed my "injuries" back to health. Then I began "doing right". And, thus far, I have stayed off of that "playground merry-go-round"!! Somehow. I keep awaiting a relapse. I can see it lurking ahead of me like some hunting lioness. Yet. Each time I appear tempted, part of that Robert Downey Jr. quote resurfaces within my head. "Discipline is doing what you say you're gonna do...." No more broken promises. No more lashing out at my Mom because "I forgot". No more letting those who care about me down. No more. No more. No more!! Robert Downey Jr. is now in my head!! Weird. But I will take it!! I told a little joke to my sister last week. It was one of those moments which I immediately regretted. I verbally confessed that some things should simply stay tucked away within my crazy head and never be let out. Never. It was intended to be humorous. Never offensive. My sister just laughed and said: "I thought it was funny!!" Really....? I do not consider myself funny at all. This was just some crazy thought from my head!! My head. Alright. Here is that supposedly-humorous-not-offensive joke: "I am under the influence of Robert Downey Jr.!!" What? He would most likely laugh at that!! Now I am not making fun of him by saying this. I would never do that. Besides, it is a positive concept!! A profound positive concept!! And, so long as I'm "under the influence" of Robert Downey Jr., with quotes within my head--while also dismantling that "chain link" called excuses--I should do okay!! I should do okay.... While on the subject of breaking bad habits, Rose has one too. Digging. Not outside beneath our fences. No. The backyard has not been invaded by gaping holes. Rose digs her dog pillows. And my bed. I ignored this bad habit. At first. After all, digging is a healthy exercise. Right? By doing so, Rose is working out her shoulders!! Her digging is not a bad habit!! I refused to listen when people cautioned that Rose would ruin my mattress. "She hasn't yet!!" was always my stubborn retort. Then.... One day I noticed something. There was this tear on the foot of my sheet. This medium-sized tear. It required zero investigations to figuring out who the guilty suspect was: Rose. So I stand corrected. Rose's digging is a bad habit!! I was wrong. Now, I catch her "red pawed", as she digs. Then I patiently scold my mutt. "Rose no. Rose? Rose no. No." As resulted, my girl always--every time!!--gives me a colossal-eyed expression that says: "Are you talkin' to me?". But she stops digging!! Just like that!! Really?! My canine makes breaking bad habits look easy!!   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

18 comments:

scotsmad said...

That's a lot to think about! Just relax and enjoy your holiday.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Molly The Wally said...

Just the sweetest post. You made me smile. Have a lovely lovely break and see you soon. Have a wonderful day.
Best wishes Molly

Remington said...

I haven't tried digging....thanks for the idea!

Raelyn said...

Daisy, Bella & Roxy....
Thank-you for the comment!!
I shall relax and enjoy my holiday!! I wonder what stories will be produced there.... ;op

Raelyn said...

Molly....
Thanks for the comment!!
I am glad that this Blog post made you smile. Sweet!! It was well thought out, I can assure you of that!! ;op

Raelyn said...

Remington....
Thank-you for the comment....
Oh, yeah. Rose would love to pass on her bad habits!! She is not a very good example, huh? Like Mama, like canine!! Hee, hee, hee.... ;op

Dip-Dip and the Bridge said...

Hope you have a wonderful holiday and come back rested and relaxed. I would tell you all about our dog's bad habits but I would be here for hours, LOL.
Lynne x

Alison said...

Digging can be a form of anxiety or OCD. Though, I guess bed digging is on a whole new level. LOL

Stacey said...

Such a great post and I agree, that is a beautiful quote by RDJ. I hope you have a fantastic holiday :-) can't wait to hear about your adventure

KSO said...

Hope Rose stops her silly digging, Betty does the exact same thing on my bed, I think they are trying to get comfortable. She's never torn anything though, she is significantly smaller than Rose though. You sure do love Robert Downey Jr!

Raelyn said...

Lynne....
Thank-you for the comment!!
We are back, and rested up!! I needed that holiday!! We all did!! And I have returned with stories, stories, stories!! Take that, Blogger's Block!! Hee, hee, hee.... ;op

Raelyn said...

Alison....
Thank-you for the comment!!
Wait. Digging can be a form of OCD? Interesting.... Well, we already knew that Rose and I share a lot in common!! Hee, hee, hee.... ;op

Raelyn said...

Stacey....
Thank-you for the comment!!
Isn't that a great quote by Robert Downey Jr.? I thought so!! ;)
We are back, and rested up!! I needed that holiday!! We all did!! And I have returned with stories, stories, stories!! Take that, Blogger's Block!! Hee, hee, hee.... ;op

Raelyn said...

KSO....
Thank-you for the comment!!
Yeah. When I love something, I go 110%!! Maybe more!! So. I plead guilty. I do love Robert Downey Jr.!! Hee, hee, hee.... ;op

Sankissjuice said...

I like that phrase too...work in progress. It is really hard to break old habits. I am also working on it. For a month now, I am working on a new kind of diet, with no meat, just fish. And lots of exercise. It is so hard not to do emotional-eating. Let's work hard together!

Sankissjuice

Raelyn said...

Sankissjuice....
Thank-you for the comment!!
You're so sweet!! For it is really hard to break old habits. Yeah!! Let's work hard together!! ;op

Molly The Wally said...

We just posted your comment and popped over to say hope you are OK and welcome back. Chin up today is not the best day for so many people. We think of them all.
Looking forward to hearing about your break.
Best wishes Molly

Raelyn said...

Molly....
Thank-you!! I am fine!! I've been feeling tired ever since returning home from our mini-vacation.... Zero clue why, but, yes maam, I will "chin up"!! I needed that!! ;op