Blogging Friends.... I have promised you stories about Rose. And I
cannot wait to write them!! They shall come!! I do mean that!! However. Today
has been quite productive for me. Quite productive. I pondered the future of My
Life Story, and was reminded that I wanted at least one month post-editing to
let it sit dormant before sharing this Writing Project with family. {One month. It has been nearly that long!!} I commented on
my "people" Blogs. I bathed Rose. I swiftly overcame a minor nothing-to-worry-about mood
swing. {Victory!!} I watched this short three-part Robert Downey Jr. YouTube
video, because I needed his sense of humor to crack me up. {He
delivered, as always!!} I played Wii with my youngest brother {Uncle Michael to
Rose!!} I spent some quality time with my Beautifully Unique little girl.
{Much-needed quality time!!} And, as something just had to fall off of life's balance beam, I never wrote a story about Rose!! Oh well. There is
always next week!! But here's a picture of sweet Rose, instead!! {I totally caught her off guard!!}
You know what I still don't get? Why are you trying so hard to fit in... when you were born to stand out? --Ian Wallace
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
"Freedom Isn't Free"
Blogging Friends.... Thank-you for your sweet words of encouragement
on Saturday's post. I truly appreciated them!!
"Freedom isn't free.". These
very words, ironically, were written to his mother from this local young man,
who was killed in an ambush during Operation Freedom's {Iraq} first few days. "Freedom isn't free.". Written
like a prophesy so true, he then proved this fact literally. My cousin Teira's
first love, Amos, was deployed to Iraq several years ago. He, too, died. She
was young, and heartbroken. We never even had the chance to meet Amos, as they
met in Hawaii. "Freedom isn't
free.". My, was that local hero correct. Let's all remember to never
take our nation's precious freedoms for granted. Never. And let's all remember those who paid the ultimate sacrifice
for our freedoms.
Arlington
Recorded by Trace Adkins
I never thought that this is where I'd settle down/I thought I'd die
an old man back in my hometown/They gave me this plot of land, me and some
other men/For a job well done/There's a big white house sits on a hill just up
the road/The man inside he cried the day they brought me home/They folded up a
flag and told my mom and dad/We're proud of your son//Chorus: And I'm proud to
be on this peaceful piece of property/I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best
of company/I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done/I can rest
in peace, I'm one of the chosen ones/I made it to Arlington//I remember Daddy
brought me here when I was eight/We searched all day to find out where my
granddad lay/And when we finally found that cross, he said/"Son this is
what it cost to keep us free"/Now here I am a thousand stones away from
him/He recognized me on the first day I came in/And it gave me a chill when he
clicked his heels/And saluted me//Chorus: And I'm proud to be on this peaceful
piece of property/I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best of company/I'm
thankful for those thankful for the things I've done/I can rest in peace, I'm
one of the chosen ones/I made it to Arlington//And every time I hear twenty-one
guns/I know they brought another hero home to us//Chorus: And I'm proud to be
on this peaceful piece of property/I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best of
company/I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done/I can rest in
peace, I'm one of the chosen ones/I made it to Arlington/We're thankful for
those thankful for the things we've done/We can rest in peace, 'cause we are
the chosen ones/We made it to Arlington/Yeah dust to dust, don't cry for us/We
made it to Arlington
Memorial Day is also observed by some who have lost loved ones in
general {No pun intended!!}. That being mentioned, may I take a moment to
remember every grieving Mom and Dad of babies/children who were born with congenital diaphragmatic hernia {My birth defect} and did not survive.
Every so often, I stumble across Blogs or Web sites about a mother's C.D.H.
"angel". And my heart breaks. Into a million pieces. It just hits home for me. These
babies/children were soldiers all the same, superheroes who lost the battle
against C.D.H. . I feel equally akin to them, as I do with survivors.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Self-Acceptance Issues
Blogging Friends.... Thank-you for your comments on Wednesday's
post. I truly appreciated it!! I feel the need to explain in a bit better
detail exactly how my "emotional week of soul searching, growing, plus many, many,
many mood swings" went. Oh. And I am also experiencing a withdrawal from
writing!! {I apologize that this Blog post is not about Rose!! Stories shall come!!}
Self-acceptance. Life has a way of freely handing out
opportunities to exercise this. In my experience, that is!! Unwanted learning disabilities.
They require self-acceptance. Physical imperfections. They require
self-acceptance. Pushing 30--in January!!--and never being a mother. It
requires self-acceptance. Well, a certain part of my past--which shall not be
revealed here--is no exception. It
requires self-acceptance. See, my long-kept
secret which I mentioned briefly last week? It was finally revealed Wednesday
evening. When my all-knowing Mom virtually grabbed me. {Which was much-needed,
by the way!!} I talked. And, she
listened. Minus specifics, I must mention that this long-kept secret is nothing
terribly bad. And years ago, I "buried" it so to speak. In a private
journal. It was gone!! But I never
expected this part of my past to return and haunt me. Oh, I wish it hadn't. Meanwhile, for nearly one month, I dreaded
sharing the secret with my Mom. Then, being a "volcano", standing
strong and steady until eventually "erupting", it wasn't until
Wednesday, May 15th, when everything affected me. Not
bad, huh? I stayed strong for probably three weeks!! Soon there were mood swings, tears, minor anxiety attacks,
edginess, achy joints, loss of sleep, some days noshing on nothing but
chocolate, and even a rant toward God. To
which He just silently listened. And, if--if--I have lost any weight, it is only because whenever I'm
stressed, I am wired!! Normal laziness is thrown "out the window", as
that phrase goes. And I physically move around a lot!! Yes, all of this
occurred during one freakin' week!! I made excuses in my head on why I should
evade sharing the secret with my Mom. I am an expert at building avoidance
patterns!! It's a problem. Because
when my mind ran out of excuses of how not to share the secret, I just recycled
them!! You know what? There are so
many different ways to be in "prison". So many different ways. And I literally felt as though I'd
incarcerated myself. Because, metaphorically speaking, I was chained up. But I am free now!! I'm happy!! And to
think that a part of my past returned to haunt me on account of five minuscule words.
Little. Miss. Secretive. Writing.
Project. And now I hereby announce {Although I'm not promising that
everybody will read it. Sorry. I have some big decisions to make regarding its
future!!} Little Miss Secretive Writing Project!! It is my life story. Which nobody who I am in close proximity to
has read. Yet. Perhaps sometime next
week!! I am getting excited now!!
Self-acceptance. Life has a way of freely handing out
opportunities to exercise this. In my experience, that is!! The other day, I
had an appointment to a dermatologist. Because I have this scaly bald
"patch" on my scalp. My
self-described "snake skin". At the dermatologist's, we learned
that it will not ever heal. Yep. My hair
will never grow back there. The positive is that other strands cover it up
nicely. But, the last thing my head needed was yet another physical
imperfection. I already have twain surgically-created "cranio" scars!!
Welcome to another lesson in
self-acceptance....
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Connected
"I’m not a poster boy for good behavior and recovery in
Hollywood. I’m just a guy who knows he has a lot to be grateful for." --Robert Downey Jr.
Mmmm, I love, love, love this quote!! Love. Love. Love!! Robert Downey Jr. spoke those words in 2008. Yes, I know that I just
quoted Robert Downey Jr.!! However, after an emotional week of soul searching, growing,
plus many, many, many mood swings, as strange as it may seem, I am feeling connected
to these words right now!! Because I'm an oddball!! Happy.
Grateful. And connected. Soul searching
experiences are good for you, right?
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
"Happy"
Blogging Friends.... Last week, Robert Downey Jr. was being
interviewed. On some special program, not Oprah or Ellen DeGeneres. The
one-hour Web show began like this. Interviewer: Hi Robert. How you
doing? Robert Downey Jr.: Happy. First off, Robert
Downey Jr. spoke that one word with pure sincerity. He was not joking!! Because
Robert Downey Jr., is, indeed, happy!! And, you know what? For a man who was
the absolute opposite of "happy" throughout much of his adult life,
nothing pleases me more than to hear him say that word!! Nothing pleases me
more. Interviewer: Hi Robert. How you doing? Robert Downey Jr.: Happy. I love, love, love that answer!! It is so different from the normal
"good", "okay", or "great". But, then again. Who
can expect "normal" from an eccentric like Robert Downey Jr.? Enough said!! From here on forth, I wish to follow suit with Robert. If anybody were to ask
me the question of "How are you doing?" {Unless I am suffering
through another roller coaster ride mood swing!!} I'm going to answer with one word. "Happy.". Because I am!! I'm
happy and grateful!! See, I have an agenda for myself this week. Never mind
that it is nearly half over already!! I am going to share with my family Little
Miss Secretive Writing Project!! Why haven't I already, you may ask? Twain
reasons. One. An obstacle which is a deeply personal secret. I have kept it for
over one decade. {Eleven years and two days. But who's counting?} It is going
in Little Miss Secretive Writing Project, because I haven't a choice. And, two.
Pride. Yes, it seems that God is attempting to work in me humility, even though
I did not realize that I needed it!! Well, this week, I must swallow that stubborn pride,
"get over myself", and move forward!! Because I
am moving forward with life. I'm accepting and embracing my "terrible
privilege{s}". Oh, and, how am I doing? One word. "Happy".
Friday, May 10, 2013
Raising Awareness
“Her zest
for life is mesmerizing and her joy is so rewarding. She never ceases to amaze
me.” — Super Zoe's Mom
We're very
excited to introduce you to Super Zoe (she is one of my new best friends)! We
couldn't be happier that TinySuperheroes is reaching and empowering children
all over the world, but it's always exciting when we're introduced to one
closer to home so that we can meet and personally deliver their cape! When
Super Zoe was nominated as a TinySuperhero, and I saw she lived just a ferry
ride away, I knew she and I were going to be friends! We made her TinySuperhero
cape yellow and blue to match the dress of her favorite Disney princess, Belle
(who she recently met in Disney Land)! Super Zoe is indeed a TinySuperhero, and
also a miracle whose resilience has surprised even optimistic doctors! Super
Zoe's fight started before she was even born. While her parents awaited her due
date, they knew Zoe would be born with a condition that gave her only a 50%
chance of survival. Zoe was born with CDH (Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia).
You may remember Super Ramsey who is also thriving after his CDH diagnosis. CDH is a birth defect
that is often detected in utero, where a hole exists in the diaphragm (the
muscle that separates the chest cavity from the abdominal cavity). Because of
this hole, some organs that should be in the abdominal cavity move into the
chest cavity. These organs then take up space that is reserved for the heart
and the lungs to grow. The survival rate of babies born with CDH is only 50%
and is dependent on many factors, though largely affected by how much the lungs
were able to develop. Super Zoe revealed herself as a TinySuperhero on August
12, 2008. They weren't sure of Zoe's lung development when she was born, so she
was placed on the ECMO machine, which would breathe and oxygenate for her so
her lungs could rest until they knew more. CDH requires surgery to place the
organs in their intended locations. Zoe remained on bypass machines and ventilators
until she was 1 month old, at which point they performed surgery to correct her
CDH. During surgery, they discovered that she had just 2/3 of a lung on her
left side, because it had been compressed by other organs during development.
Her parents were able to hold her for the first time just 2 days before this
surgery! "It was the most amazing thing ever." Zoe finally went home
in November, over 2 months after she was born. In the months and years that
followed her homecoming, Zoe has been on Oxygen, had a central line for
medicine, a pulse oxometer to watch her oxygen levels, CPAP, NG feeding tube,
then a G Tube … life for this precious girl and her amazing parents hasn't been
easy. Today, Super Zoe still deals with medical complications. Primarily, Zoe
suffers from severe pulmonary hypertension. Pulmonary hypertension is
abnormally high blood pressure. Because of it, Zoe is on a 24/7 IV medication
that she receives through a central line as well as a number of other
medications. Zoe also has a ASD and a VSD. Atrial Septal Defect (ASD) is a form
of congenital heart defect that enables blood to flow between the left and
right atria. Ventricular Septal Defect (ASD) affects the wall that divides the
left and right ventricles of the heart. These heart defects will need to be
closed through surgery in the future. Zoe is so strong. These medications are
really helping her now, but a lung and/or heart transplant could be in Zoe's
future. Along with medications, Zoe is on oxygen at night, goes to physical
therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. Those are the medical
obstacles that Super Zoe overcomes daily, but let me tell you about the love
contained in this Extraordinary TinySuperhero. When I met her to deliver her
cape, she was shy at first. It probably didn't help that I woke her up from her
nap! About 20 minutes into our visit, I heard her precious giggle...and we
bonded! So, when I had the opportunity last weekend to spend time with her
again, I jumped at the chance! We picked up right where we left off! She came
to our sewing day to help us make capes for other TinySuperheroes! She even
helped me unload the fabric from my car! The most beautiful moment I had that
day was when Super Gabby arrived! Neither Zoe or I had ever met Super Gabby. We were both super excited to see such an incredible member of our
Extraordinary TinySuperhero Squad! It was a beautiful day outside. The three of
us were talking, and Zoe told me that Gabby's arms were cold. Zoe then
proceeded to rub her hands up and down Gabby's arms to warm them up. It was the
most simple, pure act of love - and it is reasons like this that I'm the
luckiest person in the world to be surrounded by the Extraordinary
TinySuperhero Squad. This is just the beginning of my friendship with Super
Zoe, but if you'd like to continue to follow her, you can at her blog: zoehenry.com.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Go Dodgers?
My Dad returned home from California today!! He visited his mother,
brother, sister-in-law, plus several other relatives. Dad also saw an LA
Dodger's game yesterday!! His beloved
baseball team. Unfortunately, however, the Dodger's pulled a Boston Red Sox
from when I travelled clear down to Houston in 2008. They lost!! As I slowly transition back into the swing of life
after being preoccupied with Little Miss Secretive Writing Project, and conjure
up some stories about Rose, here is a picture. Shadow says: Go,
Dodger's!! Or perhaps not. Look at that very enthusiastic face!!
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Arc Reactor Treats
"I've got a cluster of shrapnel, trying every second to crawl
its way into my heart. This--stops it. This little circle of light. It's part
of me now, not just armor. It's a... terrible privilege.". Today has been emotional for me, but only in warm, positive ways.
Tears have filled my eyes, and gratitude has filled my heart. Why? Because 365
days ago, on May 4th, 2012, we saw "The Avengers". 365 days ago, on May 4th, 2012, Tony Stark/Iron
Man profoundly changed my life with that line. "Its a... terrible privilege.". Wow, one year. I never could
have imagined that I'd be inspired by such a character as Tony Stark, or the
path God would set me on afterward. A journey
toward self-acceptance. We saw "Iron Man 3" in some local theater
yesterday. What an amazing one-year anniversary
event!! We did not see it in the theater where Tony Stark reached through
its screen with his muscular arms and grabbed me. Touched my heart. No, we saw it elsewhere!! However, I entered this
theater wide-eyed and observant, as if awaiting another life-changing impact. I
witnessed their "Iron Man 3" movie poster. This theater's
old-fashioned looking light fixtures. Red beams which illumined their stairs.
Diverse people who entered long after us, as we arrived a bit early. Kids.
Adults. Teenagers. This guy wearing an Iron Man T-shirt. Yes, I observed
everything--for memory's sake--just in case Tony Stark "spoke" to me!!
And.... Nothing!! Isn't that just like
Tony Stark? Now, I will not give away any "spoilers" from
"Iron Man 3". I can keep
secrets, remember? But, I will say this. It was very, very, very good!!
So, in celebration of 365 days since Tony Stark/Iron Man did change
my life, I decided to do something crazy. Crazy,
even for me!! I am self-described as being "artistically-challenged".
Yet, I baked Rose arc reactor biscuits this morning!! Yes, arc reactor biscuits!! What on earth was I thinking? That I am
freakin' Martha Stewart?! Anyway. I used this circular cutter. Then, I took a
knife, and carved an upside-down triangle. Inside it, I carved this smaller
upside-down triangle. Three lines. And, that is it!! They are far from being
flawless. But I am proud of them!! And they taste like cinnamon!! Mmmm!!
Rose would rate this recipe four "paws" way, way up!!
Fruity Biscuits
The berries used in this recipe make the biscuits an unusual purplish color. {They are brown!!} If you use raspberries only, they'll be pink, which can make a fun Valentine's Day or Christmas biscuit. If you don't have blueberries or raspberries on hand, you can try some other type of fruit. This biscuit's sweetness is a real treat for dogs with a sweet tooth.
--For the egg wash--
1 egg
Pinch of salt
--For the batter--
1 cup whole wheat flour, plus extra for rolling {I used white flour for rolling!!}
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup soy flour {We haven't any soy flour. So, because the rebel within me loves to use alternate ingredients, I did 1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour and 1 1/2 cups white flour!!}
2 tablespoons flax seed meal or wheat germ {I chose wheat germ.}
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup warm water
1/4 cup blueberries (fresh or frozen) {Mine were frozen!!}
1/2 cup raspberries (fresh or frozen) {Mine were frozen!!}
2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon safflower oil {We haven't any safflower oil. So, as again, the rebel within me loves to use alternate ingredients, I did canola oil!!}
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
Preheat oven to 375 F. For the egg wash, beat one egg in a small bowl and add a pinch of
salt. {I whisked it!! Because I am a rebel!!} Set aside. {For the future. When baking
arc reactor treats, I will leave out this egg wash. Why? Because the egg seeped
through my arc reactors, hiding its art!!}In a large bowl, combine the flours, flax seed meal or wheat germ,
and cinnamon. In a food processor, {I think
that any blender will work just as well, for those who do not own food
processors!!} combine the water, fruit,
honey, oil, the two eggs, and vanilla. Pulse until smooth. Pour the liquid
ingredients over the dry ingredients and stir to combine. (Don't fret if there
are little pieces of fruit visible.) {No visible pieces of fruit. However,
I did run into some minor complications right about here. First, my dough was a
bit dry. So, I added water. Just a little
bit!! Then, the dough was so gooey, that it bonded to my hands!!
Literally!! I defeated gravity with it!! So,
I began to knead my dough on our floured countertop. At last, something that I
could work with formed!!} Knead the
dough in the bowl until it makes a nice ball and turn it out onto a lightly
floured surface. {Dramatic eye roll. This rebel should have followed
instructions!! Whatever.} Roll out to a
1/4-inch thickness and cut with cookie cutters. Place biscuits on ungreased
baking sheets. {I misread that. I greased my pan!! Oh well!!} Using a pastry brush, brush egg wash on top
of each biscuit. Bake for 15 minutes or until tops are browned. {I baked
twelve treats at a time for 25 minutes!!} For
crunchier cookies, turn the oven down to 200 F and bake for an additional hour
or two, or until they reach the desired crunchiness. Store at room temperature
in a loosely covered container. {To avoid any molding, I froze most of my little
arc reactors!!}
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