New Year's Eve, "Bombs", And RDJ

Jackson Update. He just underwent craniosynostosis reconstructive surgery. Serene graciously told me in a comment that I could repost anything from her Blog. So!! In Serene's own words. Warning. You will need your tissues!!

 

I held up okay, until that horrible moment when I handed little Jackson over to the anesthesiologist. I could only turn into Hubby's chest and cry. We were told it would take about two and a half hours from the time they put him under to the time they woke him up. Not bad considering we had to wait over five hours with Alayna's procedure. About two hours later, Dr. Siddiqi (pediatric plastic surgeon) and Dr. Riva-Cambren (neuro-surgeon) walked into the waiting room and told us that Jackson's surgery went perfectly and no blood transfusion was needed. I started crying all over again. Hubby asked why I was crying? Things had gone so well! But that was exactly it. I just felt so much relief and gratitude. About half an hour later, the call came that "one parent of Jackson" could go see him in recovery. In truth, if I had known what I would find, I may have sent Hubby. I suppose I expected to see something like what Alayna looked like. Still pretty sedated, doped up on pain killer, laying there all wrapped up in clean, white bandages. Instead, I could hear him screaming from down the hall. I found him crying and crying, being held by a nurse who was trying to console him with a bottle of water, the bed and blankets he was wrapped in was smeared with the orangey-red iodine they had used on his head. It looked so much like blood. They handed him off to me, hoping I could calm him down and possibly make him eat. But all he did was scream and scream, and all I could do was sit there and cry while feeling to utterly helpless. I hated it. So much. They gave him a couple doses of pain meds but it didn't seem to make a dent. After what felt like an eternity, they told me they were going to move him up to his room. I set him back in the bed and we walked out to the hallway where we met up with Hubby and a dear childhood friend of mine, Seth, who had stopped by. Even though it was obvious, all I seemed capable of doing was to stand there and repeat over and over that Jackson wouldn't stop crying. I couldn't do anything to help him, he just wouldn't stop. He screamed all the way to the room where I once again held him, trying to calm him as they gave him some oxycodone. When they fed him the oxycodone, he seemed to realize he was hungry and I was able to feed him while the drug took effect and he finally, blessedly, calmed down. He continued to whimper or burst out into sudden fits of pain or discomfort. It was always bad when they had to draw blood or check vitals. Hubby and I took turns holding him for hours at a time, not wanting to put him down. At some point in the early morning hours, he was calm and comfortable enough to lay in his bed so all three of us could get a couple hours of sleep.

Blogging Friends. Please continue to keep Jackson, Serene, "Hubby", and the rest of this dear family in your thoughts/prayers!!

New Year's. It is a time of fresh beginnings. Resolutions are made. Then later broken. We purchase new calendars. And it is a time of wild celebrations, which, quite often, involves booming bottle rockets--I call them "bombs"!!--plus one poor, terrified Rose. 9:30 PM. That was the precise time of when our first "bomb" exploded. 9-freakin'-30!! Quite frankly, I was not ready for fireworks. I had been sitting at this very flat-screened desktop computer working hard--and swiftly running out of time!!--on my January children's story for "Minuscule is good!" Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Midnight was still hours away. Hours!! I still had plenty of time to work on my children's story before all hell broke loose outside based on Rose's perspective. Or so I thought. I linked Rose's spare red leash and we walked toward our great room. There I pet my little girl's velvet-soft fur, each hand stroke calming her nerves. She then cautiously stood up from a laying position. I followed suit, as I'd been sitting down on our carpeted great room floor next to Rose. This one "bomb" was a solitary thing for now. Correct? Nobody else was going to set any more off until 11:30 or midnight. I was confident of it!! Well, I still needed to work on my children's story. So!! Feeling like some workaholic whose priorities need straightened, I returned to this desktop computer, Rose's red leash loosely dangling from my left hand. And I wrote--only a little bit--as my ears could hear distant, nonthreatening fireworks. They grew louder. The computer clock read 10:30 PM. 10-freakin'-30!! Fireworks were now in close proximity to our house, "bombs" literally exploding above the roof. Ready or not, here they come!! My children's story will simply have to wait. Once again, I lead Rose toward our great room. Sheltered from the firework's noise? Not really!! But together in a one-level home with few rooms to escape, we would sit out these "bombs". However long it takes. Did you know that Robert Downey Jr. released a solo album titled "The Futurist"? Well, he did!! That actor can sing!! Which is quite impressive, I think, considering all of the illegal narcotics he used to smoke!! And Robert Downey Jr. can play the piano, as well as other instruments!! Plus write songs!! Even as a poet, I cannot do that!! Well, I received "The Futurist" for Christmas!! Rather than watch some prerecorded New Year's Eve television special, I played Robert Downey Jr.'s C.D.!! Three and a half times!! Obsessive? Perhaps!! But Robert Downey Jr. has a soft voice, which was exactly what Rose needed against the noise of those "bombs"!! Plus. I just so happen to have Robert Downey Jr.'s sweet redemption story/song for his wife Susan--"Man Like Me"--memorized!! So I sang it!! Word for word!! Which furthermore comforted Rose!! So don't knock it!! Outside, our world was engulfed in fog just like on Christmas Eve one week ago!! To which I smiled!! I love, love, love a mystical, deep, thick, eerie fog!! I'm an oddball, this I know!! I thought that with the foggy weather, I'd never see any brilliant colors through windows exploding in our skies. It would be all noise and no show, if you will. Well, I thought incorrectly. Because my eyes caught a glimpse of explosive colors through our dirty, bird poop-stained great room skylight!! However. As though the mystical, deep, thick, eerie fog were some cave, and our outside world was trapped, those "bombs" seemed much more resounding than usual. Now. I have somehow trained myself during fireworks to remain as calm, and emotionless as humanly possible. For Rose. Because amidst every single booming "bomb", she needs me to stay strong. No jumping out of my skin. No gasping. And absolutely no screaming. But I'm afraid that I could not control myself this year!! Because, every time a "bomb" was set off, poor Rose panting as tremors worked through her body, I jumped and gasped!! It was so very intense!! Quite frankly? I had a difficult time deciding who was the most terrified that night!! Rose? Or I? I talked to my little girl sweetly. I wished Rose a happy 2014. I apologized on behalf of our insane neighbors' "bombs". And I told her that she was a good girl. Repeatedly. Because she is!! The "bombs" finally lessened considerably at 12:30 AM. That was twain hours of explosive bottle rockets!! Her spare red leash still linked, I turned off Robert Downey Jr.'s C.D. and lead Rose back to our bedroom. There, I sat with my mutt for another thirty minutes until 1:00 AM, and she was calm. The following morning? I wrote most of my children's story on five hours' sleep.... With lots of chocolate!!

2014. It is going to be a wonderful year....