Maturity

Blogging Friends.... I know, I know. I have promised Rose stories!! And I am writing them!! Honest!! Today, I plan to write another Rose story!! However. This is also a Blog about me. That being mentioned. God has been working some incredibly profound maturity in me lately. It feels so weird. Maturity....

 

Moms of my "Cranio"/C.D.H. Kindred Spirits. This can apply to you, and your children, as well.

 

{Taken from my private Word Document Journal. Some changes were required!!}

 

God is in control. God doesn't make mistakes and any baby is never a mistake. Who cares if {you} never get a job or go to college or get married or have children? Do those things validate your existence? Are you loved because of what you can accomplish or because you exist? You are valuable because you were created and God saw fit to create you for Himself. Are you still trying to validate your existence by what you do? Let it go. Look up right now and smile and say "Thank you God for making me!" I am a firm believer that God doesn't make mistakes. You aren't a mistake.

 

I read these words on someone's Blog quite some time ago. She has since deleted her Website. But, I liked this post enough to copy and paste it upon a Word Document!! Anyway. Through these very words, God was conveying a message to me about self-acceptance and contentment. Which. As per usual, I paid very little attention to. But then again. Everything works out!! See, if I had heeded God's message to me about self-acceptance and contentment through that Blogger's words, then, chances are, I never would have been profoundly impacted by Robert Downey Jr./Tony Stark/Iron Man. "It's a... terrible privilege.". No, these words were meant for me right now. Why? Because just this morning, they randomly reappeared within my head, like some sign. God is in control. I was born with a rare birth defect called craniosynostosis. Loosely translated. I was born sans a soft spot. One out of 2,000 babies born are affected by craniosynostosis. Yes, One out of 2,000 babies. We accepted Christ because of craniosynostosis. God doesn't make mistakes and any baby is never a mistake. I am not exempt from this truth. Who cares if {you} never get a job or go to college or get married or have children? Do those things validate your existence? Are you loved because of what you can accomplish or because you exist? You are valuable because you were created and God saw fit to create you for Himself. Are you still trying to validate your existence by what you do? Yes. I have been doing this. Ever since someone who I am in close proximity to began preparing for college. It was then when I worked feverishly on my Life Story in high hopes of getting it published. Of becoming a published author. Look up right now and smile and say "Thank you God for making me!" I am a firm believer that God doesn't make mistakes. You aren't a mistake. I was also born with this rare and potentially life-threatening birth defect called congenital diaphragmatic hernia. Loosely translated. I was born with a hole in my diaphragm. One out of every 2,500 live births are affected by C.D.H. . Yes, one out of every 2,500 live births. Plus. Approximately 1,600 babies are born each year with C.D.H. . Yes, 1,600 babies. It was right-sided C.D.H. . {I think!!} Only 10% of C.D.H. cases occur on the right side. Yes, 10%. My liver was elevated. Doctors were unsure, exactly, of what ailed my skinny, long-limbed little body, so they closely monitored me. Meanwhile. My heart became enlarged, and a lung collapsed. Here are some very sobering facts concerning this birth defect. Some, but not all, research studies show that right-sided C.D.H. is associated with a greater mortality rate than left-sided C.D.H. . I wonder why? Infants with a large amount of "liver up C.D.H." have higher mortality than those whose liver remains down below the diaphragm. And. Approximately 50% of babies who are born with C.D.H. don't survive. They pass away due to complications. Yes, approximately 50%.

 

Wow. I was never placed on the E.C.M.O. machine. I did not reherinate. I never needed any G-tubes. Nonetheless. These C.D.H. statistics scream that I never should have survived. Either God was really watching over me--because He has plans for my life--or I am "hard to kill", as that phrase goes. How about both? Whoa. How do you psychologically handle something as profound as these statistics? And I wasted over ten years of my life to mood swing-infused pity parties. Over one decade....

 

Look up right now and smile and say "Thank you God for making me!" You know what? I do not need to look up toward clear blue skies, and thank my Heavenly Father for creating me. No. All I need to do is trace my fingers across a lengthy C.D.H. scar. Because. He protected my skinny, long-limbed little body....