"Did I Just Say That Out Loud?"

Blogging Friends.... Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you for all of your encouraging comments on the other day's post!! I truly appreciated them. You, dear Friends, are such wonderful "support" to me, and I am such a pain in the ass!! Sorry about that. I AM a "published" writer!! I do not want to become one. I AM. By the way? Jezabelle does not only buck and attempt to throw me on account of my lifelong dream. It is other issues, as well. That was merely a true story example. My newfound mantra has become "Ride like the wind, Jezabelle." Love you later.

There is a small resin sign that looks like wood being sold at Hallmark. It states, in bold uppercase letters, these words. Did I Just Say That Out Loud? I've seriously considered purchasing it for my bedroom as a valid reminder that I can sometimes blurt things out {Often quirky!!} in a blunt, forward manner. But then. I would also have to purchase the matching small sign that reads this. OCD: Obsessive Chocolate Disorder, and those signs are not cheap. Anyway. I have worked on improving this character defect over the years. Honest!! Now, I am very good at keeping secrets. Baby news. Christmas surprises. Huge weighty subjects. And I tend to hold a lot inside me. A lot. So less than twain years ago when I learned about Robert Downey Jr.'s past {Has it really been that long? Wow.} I learned about all sorts of things, including--yes--some hard drugs. But being good at keeping secrets? I've never--never--let on to anybody everything that I know. Especially because my loving, non-controlling Mom did not wish for me to learn about Robert Downey Jr.'s past at all. Would everything that I have knowledge of break her heart? I can't help but wonder. So I have held everything inside me. Until Saturday, April 5th, 2014, when we were eating homemade pizza dinner with a friend. Suddenly, he--who shall remain nameless!!--randomly mentioned the term "smoking rock". This friend then looked directly at me and gently said something to this effect. "That was meant for your Dad. I don't expect you to get it. Sorry." But. I did get that reference!! Then suddenly, sans warning, I spoke up. "Oh, I know what 'smoking rock' means," I said, "I'm a Robert Downey Jr. fanatic, so I kinda have to." That was blunt. Way too blunt. And it lacked a little thing called "empathy". Whoops. My heart raced. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump. It was jamming away for Bruce Springsteen's band when I felt immensely guilty, as though, I, myself, had got caught smoking cigarettes behind our green backyard shed. Did I just say that out loud? This shocked the pants off of my Dad. Because why should I--a sheltered homeschooled graduate--know anything about smoking rock? He then turned to my Mom and asked this. "You let her read that?" And my Mom--equally shocked--answered with this. "She's--how old are you?" Thirty. Although I was twenty-eight years old when I learned about Robert Downey Jr.'s past. And you know what? I am also educated on how cocaine abuse can mess with an addict's head. Facts which I shall spare you of. Your welcome. I shall also spare you the specific Robert Downey Jr. quotation from which I became familiar with the term "smoking rock". Because he said four f-bombs--I counted them--plus it was a hauntingly sad, surreal glimpse into one ex-addict's life of being desperate for coke. Your welcome again. I then went on and painted Robert Downey Jr. in a truthful, real, positive light to our friend. Such as this. Robert Downey Jr. spent his 49th birthday with elementary-aged kids and watched "Captain America: The Winter Soldier". I will never tire of doing that. Painting Robert Downey Jr. in a positive light. Why? Because he is--and I believe always was!!--a good guy. My how far Robert Downey Jr. has travelled in Life. From smoking rock {And tons of it} to watching "Captain America" with kids who idolize him as Tony Stark/Iron Man. It is nothing short of beautiful.