My New Life

Blogging Friends.... Thank-you for your thoughts and prayers sent toward my Kindred Spirit congenital diaphragmatic hernia Buddy, Clay. His operation has been postponed, due to experiencing cold-like symptoms. He is now rescheduled for his third C.D.H. repair surgery on either October 1st, or 3rd. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers!!

Chocolate-covered cookies. They sat on our "snack table" at church yesterday, among Krispy Kreme doughnuts and assorted fruits. These cookies--Keebler Fudge Stripe--were calling me. Chocolate, I have learned, knows my name, and speaks English quite fluently, as it reels me in like some wet, slimy fish. Raelyn. Raelyn. Raelyn. The fruit, of course, did not do that. No. The grapes and apple slices on our "snack table" just sat there, silently, like some introverted child. It did not help that I am still battling negative feelings--and winning!!--of low self-esteem. Whenever this occurs, apparently, my chocolate cravings are much more frequent. Ah, mood swings. It did not help that I had only gotten five hours' sleep the night before--my fault--so fatigue was present. Whoops. We sang worship songs, and all I wanted was a jittery, edgy, hyperactive I-can-achieve-anything surge of energetic chocolate high. You know what? It has been nearly one month since I gave up my bingeing habit. Wow. And, although I have occasionally indulged on chocolate--guilt-free--it has been nearly one month since I've experienced any "highs". I repeat. Wow. And, although I still miss bingeing on chocolate, my crazy mind is no longer sending withdrawal symptoms. Just cravings. Does this officially qualify me as being a "recovering chocolate addict"? Just wondering!! Because I have done amazingly well at saying "no" to cravings!! So. Those Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies were calling my name in fluent English. Raelyn. Raelyn. Raelyn. I tried to ignore the chocolate-coated cookies. I even looked away from our "snack table". Lead me not into temptation!! {What? I was at church!! Why not quote scripture?} But it was no use ignoring something which stared me down. Even the chocolate doughnuts called my name in fluent English!! Raelyn. Raelyn. Raelyn. I must have mentally told chocolate to shut up, because my hands grabbed a cluster of sweet juicy purple grapes, instead!! And that is not even my very favorite fruit!! However. I did indulge with one piece of sweet, sugar-loaded homemade apple pie later!! Guilt. Free!! As resulted to my newfound willpower, I have lost a bit of weight, but still cannot fit into old jeans. For this, I must be patient!! I'm not sure if I was even blessed with the type of body that allows a completely flat abdomen, because there is flab located right above my C.D.H. repair scar. But. Without it--and God's Grace--I would be dead. This is my battle scar, a physical blemish which I have never been ashamed of. Ever. Meanwhile, Rose is most certainly enjoying my new life!! Rather than nosh on a full plate of chips, for an afternoon snack, I now dunk baby carrots in creamy buttermilk ranch dressing. This is easily Rose's very favorite vegetable!! She could eat carrots as though they were candy!! Hmmm. I could learn a thing or two from Rose. Once her velvet-soft ears hear the bag opening, or my teeth biting into an orange crunchy carrot, she comes running, expecting some!! Little beggar!! To which I almost always smile, because what happens next is that Rose and I share the healthful snack!! I look forward to this simple bonding moment as much as she does!! I dunk my baby carrots into creamy buttermilk ranch dressing, bite into them, one by one, and Rose chews the plain other half!! We do this nearly every day!! Also. I'm afraid that during my experience of falling deeper and deeper into chocolate addiction, our walks stopped. I haven't a clue how. First came the excuses--which are always lame and redundant--then laziness. Soon, my premature short-term memory loss took over, like some military commander. Walk? What walk? I forgot!! So. Needless to mention. I am not the only one who gained weight. Rose did as well, because of her addiction to, well, food, as she is part Beagle!! Now. I have flown from one extreme to the other--not surprising--and I've become a power walking enthusiast!! Crazy. We live on a suburban cul-de-sac, with very few miles to walk. So, twice daily, I just lead Rose up and down our "neighborhood". At a fast pace. Sure, I allow Rose's ebony nostrils to sniff bushes and grass. She is a canine, after all!! I especially let Rose sniff our last strip of grass, where this leaning streetlight, plus freshly-painted bright yellow fire hydrant are located. Because, by then, I am huffing and puffing, my out-of-shape, long-ago collapsed left lung--both which were previously weakened by pneumonia--working overtime. You know what? Making my resilient lungs work overtime feels so good!! Now, I understand that I'm insane to be starting our walks back up now, especially during current passing Autumn rainstorms. But, here's the thing. I love, love, love walking in the rain!! Love. Love. Love. Our neighbors must think that I'm crazy--which I am!!--because I absolutely refuse to wear my raincoat's hood during stormy day walks!! So!! There we have it. My resisting temptation against chocolate cravings is going amazingly well, and I am losing weight alongside Rose!! Gradually.

Look for a new post on Minuscule is good!, my other Blog--Lord willing--tomorrow!! Cross your fingers--and paws!!--because it has yet to even be written!!