March 31st

Look for my April children's story to be posted on Minuscule is good! {Lord willing!!} on Wednesday!! I just finished writing it this afternoon!!

Today--March 31st--is C.D.H. Awareness Day. You know what? I went thirty years of my entire long life as a congenital diaphragmatic hernia survivor without having known that this day even exists. And. According to Breath of Hope's Blog, March is also C.D.H. Awareness Month!! Which, is a fact that I just learned the other day. So!! In honor of this being C.D.H. Awareness Day. Here is a virtual shout-out to "my" Beautifully Unique Kindred Spirit Blogging Buddies. Killian, Whitney, Timoteo, Wyatt, Ramsey, Ava, Catherine, Parker, Clara, Jude, Clay, Memphis, Sunni, Bonnie, Atiksh, Camden, Oliver, and Jim Beau. Here is an analogy {Which I "sent" via comment to a dear C.D.H. Mama!!} that my crazy never-shuts-down head wrote.

C.D.H. is, I think, much like a raging forest fire. Children born with it are fragile yet strong trees. Sometimes. The raging forest fire of C.D.H. can burn its trees, scalding them badly. These such C.D.H. children then live most of their lives with unwanted health issues. Sometimes. The raging forest fire of C.D.H. can merely singe its trees. Such as in my case. Then the only sign that there ever was a raging forest fire at all is very visible yet beautiful scars. And tragically. Sometimes. The raging forest fire of C.D.H. can burn its trees to ash. As C.D.H. children are still dying. But I have personally witnessed something miraculous firsthand. Even trees that have been badly burned grow back afresh!! Never lose hope.

Happy C.D.H. Awareness Day. 

Happy, Happy, Happy

Blogging Friends.... I soared through Blogville and left comments. I gladly helped entertain our dear friends' children. I spent some quality time with Rose. I read from "Heaven Is Here" by Stephanie Nielson. And, although I would safely say that I had myself a productive day, something just had to fall off of the balance beam of Life. Because. There are only so many hours in the day!! That specific something which fell off of Life's balance beam? Writing a Blog post. And I have been experiencing such intense withdrawals, too!! Oh well!! Tomorrow is another day, in which I intend to cure my withdrawal symptoms from writing!! How so? Tomorrow--as Winter-like rainstorms are in our local forecast--I plan to begin work on my fictional children's story for April!! That makes me happy, happy, happy!! I cannot wait!! I love being creative!!

"Happiness was my choice, and though it is hard-won,
I am the only person who can stand in the way of it." --Stephanie Nielson

Keep Calm And Write A Book

Blogging Friends.... Thank-you, from the depths of my heart, for your encouraging comments on last week's post!! I truly appreciated them!! Every single word!!

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. --Helen Keller

Many--if not most--published authors possess early memories of writing "books". Whether it be for school assignments or voluntary pleasure. Many--if not most--published authors possess early memories of writing "books". Me? Although unpublished, I am definitely not exempt!! In fact. I have been periodically writing "books" throughout probably more than half of my life!! Yep. See, this crazy jumbled-up memory of mine takes me back to my teenage years. When I was obsessed with "Star Wars" so I wrote fictional stories about Darth Vader, his Storm Troopers, Han Solo and I. I think there may have been a love triangle of some sort with me in between Darth Vader and Han Solo as my boyfriends. Or not. I have since mislocated those "books"!! I played with Barbie dolls--yes, as a teenager!!--meanwhile creating in my crazy never-shuts-down head diverse characters/stories. There was Theresa, the immodest, never-do-right, screw-up single Mom. Paul, this noble, just, gentleman police officer. And Steve, Theresa's jerk, cheating husband. Lest anybody wonder. I was not born into a dysfunctional family. I have no idea where those characters/stories came from!! Honest!! When I was interested in acting--Tom Hanks being my current "old guy crush"--I wrote a story about boldly sharing my faith with him over greasy McDonald's French fries. The actor accepted Christ, if memory serves me!! But I somehow neglected to "paint" Tom Hanks' charming, witty personality that we all love. As with my "Star Wars"-themed romance, I have since mislocated that "book"!! Years later--before I ever had any Blogs--I would become a prolific poetess who composed poems. This lasted less than twain years until, sadly, I was forced to give it up for lack of inspiration. Anyway. My favorite Major League baseball team is the Boston Red Sox. Once, I compiled a "book" of poems about legends from Cy Young to Curt Schilling. It also featured individual players statistics. Historical World Series moments. Plus my very own personal experience of watching catcher Jason Varitek during batting practice in seats which were positioned right above Boston's opposing team's dugout!! Now these poems most likely didn't flow. And they were probably not any good, either!! But, nonetheless, it was a "book"--which I created--and still own!! As you all very well know, over one week ago, I closed the door to my lifelong dream of becoming an author. And I threw away its key. So how am I doing? Honestly? I'd be lying if I did not write that it was somewhat emotional. Why is this dream so darn hard to give up? However. I have been wholeheartedly enjoying a New York Times Bestseller!! Which, I must return to!! I unintentionally took some time off from reading it. And I have not cracked the memoir open in four days. I know, I know.... I have been finding quotations from authors--plus some songwriters!!--and putting them on the side of my Blog, Minuscule is good! !! Go look.... I am not finished!! I have been sporadically reading interviews with published authors!! And I've loved every single one!! I feel such a Kindred connection to writers!! We are the same!! While Googling, I have even found an awesome sign which boldly reads these words. Keep Calm And Write A Book. Which I copied. Twice!! I have reached the realization with utter astonishment that I've written eight "books"--in less than two years!!--thus far!! Eight!! In less than two years!! I have been actively attempting my very best to avoid envying published authors. What can I say? Some bad habits are hard to break!! I have been moving forward, placing one foot in front of the other!! And--thank-you, Helen Keller!!--I am not staring longingly at a closed door!! I have envisioned my fictional stories for April, May and June!! Does that exhaust you? Do not worry about it. I exhaust myself sometimes!! And I love it!! That is how I am doing. I have found happiness. Today, I'm two months into being thirty, by the way!! And I am still feeling at peace with God's answer of "no".

I'm livin' The Dream!!    

I Lost My Drive To Blog

Blogging Friends.... I haven't a clue where it went. I lost my drive to Blog yesterday. But not writing!! No, I have been typing potential "Blog posts" all along!! But, never fear, I've found my drive to Blog again!! A more "normal" post shall resume next week. But meanwhile. Here is a Helen Keller quotation as I've been re-reading some of the admirable things she said/wrote!! I love her!!

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. --Helen Keller   

The Clincher

Blogging Friends.... I hereby behold. This is my final "therapy session"!! For a while, at least!! Because I do not think I need them anymore!! I have felt this way for quite some time. But. Like some child with a security blanket, I was reluctant to let it go. "Let it go". Those are the key subject words that I feel God is whispering into my heart and soul right now. "Let it go". Thank-you, dear Blogging Friends--again--from the depths of my heart for your support....

  

"Minuscule is good!

Trust me, it's much better than thinking everything you do is important and meaningful. That is not good." --Robert Downey Jr.

Dreams. I cannot help but wonder. Why do we even have them? My sister would love to become a worldwide traveler, her list including Ireland and Africa. But she has neither the time nor the money for such a dream. My Dad wrote a "book" quite some time ago, and would love more than anything to become published. No, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree", as that phrase goes!! I am, like, a female version of Dad.... Positives, negatives, character defects and all!! So back to my query. Why do we even dream? Is it for our own personal comfort? Because daydreaming feels good? Is it because we are human? Why....? Well, I finally did it. I Google-searched self-published authors. And, incidentally, {Or was it providential?!} God immediately lead me to an interview with a self-published author. Naturally, I clicked on it. And, incidentally, {Or was it providential?!} my eyes immediately noticed these words which were spoken by the self-published author. She said this.

Finding the time to market my books and write the next one is the biggest challenge – there just aren't enough hours in the day.

Whoa. What is one of my "biggest challenges" as a "Children's Writer"? Honestly? It would be periodic bouts of Writer's Block. Which I love, love, love!! Plus, occasionally, another challenge is envisioning future fictional children's stories. Which I do not mind!!

Finding the time to market my books and write the next one is the biggest challenge – there just aren't enough hours in the day.

Wow. This is definitely a clincher. Because I need the time to create my "books". Yes, need. For I have figured myself out!! At last. It took me thirty years of life. But I have figured myself out!! See. I possess a crazy never-shuts-down head. Correct? Well. Having monthly Writing Projects, I put that crazy never-shuts-down head of mine "to work". Because. My crazy never-shuts-down head can also get me "into trouble" what with minor mood swing-infused pity parties, plus negative thoughts/feelings/emotions. But these Writing Projects!! Putting this crazy never-shuts-down head of mine "to work" provides my existence with an immense sense of purpose!! It truly does!! For my Writing Projects give me something exciting to anticipate once-a-month!! Both reasons which are exactly what keeps me "out of trouble"!! After thoroughly reading the interview--which I enjoyed!!--I looked this self-published author up. I wanted to know how many books she had written. Answer? Four. Huh. That most certainly does not trump twelve "books" in 2014!! As a matter of fact. Since October, beginning with "Bubbles the Bubblegum Bunny", I have written six--soon to be seven!!--children's "books"!! And if I count my "Amethyst"-inspired monkey story? I have actually written seven--soon to be eight!!--children's "books"!! And I mustn't forget my Life Story!! No, I mustn't!! It did, after all, ignite my addiction to Writing Projects!! I "awakened the sleeping giant", as that phrase goes!! I am a writer, an artist who paints pictures with words. Do I need one of my "books" to become an Amazon.com bestseller--if that is even possible!!--as confirmation that I can? Absolutely not!! Because I am a "Children's Writer"!! I am. Writing.... Is the heart which beats a steady, rhythmic beat within my chest. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump. Writing.... Is the blood which pulses through my veins. Without this God-given talent, I would be dead!! Writing.... To me is the best form of therapy. It's healing in every single way. Writing.... Is the superglue that holds me together both emotionally and mentally. Because. Writing.... Helps keep me sane!! I can. What I cannot do? Quit writing my monthly fictional stories!! So I should not become a published children's author. Ever. And that is seemingly God's final answer to me. Well, guess what? I am not in the slightest bit sorry for this loss!! Because I'm living The Dream!! It was never broken or shattered after all....

Chant with me now. I'm livin' The Dream. I'm livin' The Dream. I'm livin' The Dream. I'm livin' The Dream. I'm livin' The Dream.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, dear Blogging Friends!!

May God Grant you always.... A sunbeam to warm you.... A moonbeam to charm you.... A sheltering angel so nothing can harm you.... Laughter to cheer you.... Faithful friends near you.... And whenever you pray.... Heaven to hear you. --Anonymous

And remember. Everybody is Irish on St. Patrick's Day!!

  

  

  

  

I've Been Thinking....

{Written in an e-mail to my dear friend, Stephanie!!}

Now that I am creating monthly fictional children's stories? My life truly has a sense of purpose!! At last.... I have been waiting for a long time to feel this way.... And all I had to do was take control of my thoughts/feelings/emotions/life....

I've been thinking.... That I should have become a children's writer years ago.... Doing so might have helped keep minor mood swing-infused pity parties at bay.... And I look back upon that part of my existence--which is not, by any means, completely conquered--with deep regret.... But then I am reminded of this very quotation by Robert Downey Jr..... And suddenly, I feel okay.... With right now.

I think you end up doing the stuff you were supposed to do at the time you were supposed to do it. --Robert Downey Jr.

"Stuff Happens"

I am a self-described "dog-wrangler" in this suburban cul-de-sac where we reside. I do not know, exactly, when it began. Because frankly? I do not remember. Was it several years back, when Zeke, our next door neighbors' black and white St. Bernard/Border Collie mix often escaped as a puppy, perhaps? That never occurs anymore, by the way!! Because. I have since grabbed Puffy the-escape-artist Pug's collar, and lead him back home. On a nearly daily basis. I have since helped my poor frantic neighbor avoid Sammy, her Schnauzer mix, from running toward traffic. Which is a lot less scarier than it sounds, really, because I was walking Rose. And Sammy followed her everywhere!! I have since helped a bewildered Gary find Roxie, his yellow Labrador Retriever. Who never, ever, ever strays far!! I have since brought home a wandering, aggressive chocolate Labrador Retriever. It actually frightened me a bit when "he" growled, but I'm afraid that I may have scared "him" with my approach!! Well. The other day--on a fleetingly sunny Spring-like afternoon--I was promoted to "kid-wrangler"!! And all because of Rose!! I had been sitting on this very flat-screened desktop computer writing. Suddenly Rose jumped off of "our" bed, ran toward the front door and barked. Ferociously. Rose {Who, amazingly, has never been an excessive barker. Even though she is part Beagle!!} possesses twain very different barks. Both are loud. Both cause us all to jump and/or scream. However. When somebody has actually stepped foot on our front porch as opposed to neighbors slamming their car doors, Rose's bark, I have observed, is much more ferocious-sounding. So. Upon hearing it the other day, I instantly knew that somebody was at our front door. But who? I stood up from this very chair. With my wrenched right knee injury which, yes, I am still recovering from, I'm like "the little engine that could" these days after sitting for awhile. {Grunt, pant, grunt, ow, grunt.} I feel like an old lady already, as opposed to a thirty-year old!! When I reached our front door, I felt shocked at what was innocently looking back at me. The cherubic face of my next door neighbor's two-year old granddaughter!! I opened our door. I expected to see my neighbor, Debby, as well. Perhaps she needed something? Nope, it was just the toddler!! Instinctively, sans even thinking, I took her chubby little hand to walk back toward next door. Barefoot. And I smiled. "Did you get away from Grandma Debby's?" I asked her. She did not answer. Although I'm fully aware that all children develop and learn at their own pace, my two year old niece, "Amethyst", is speaking in complete sentences!! So. I expected this little girl to at least answer "Yeah". "Amethyst" would have!! But I am just glad that this sweet little girl did not fight me or attempt to run away. "Amethyst" probably would have. Because my niece is most definitely two!! That girl I love seems far too much like me, I'm afraid. Strong-willed. Stubborn. And obstinate. I pray for "Amethyst". Avoid my laundry list of character defects, please!! I found Debby--who had been outside washing cars--and gave back the toddler. "We had ourselves a little visitor," I announced. To which Debby shot me this terrified expression. "She was sitting on my front porch a minute ago," Debby explained. But no need. I understood. With children, sometimes you have to "watch them like hawks", as that phrase goes. Because it happens so fast. And "in the blink of an eye", as that phrase goes, children can cause mischief!! Now. Lest anybody wonder. I do not expect this to occur again, for Debby is a responsible Grandma. But "stuff happens", as my Dad oft casually says. I am just so very grateful for Rose who alerted me of our little visitor!!

And they say that Lassie was great....

Imagination

Blogging Friends.... It feels as though I owe you a story about Rose. This one occurred quite some time ago. It was hidden away in disorganized notes on a Word Document page!! Enjoy!!

"A lively imagination is one of the best things a cub can have. It's imagination that lets us paint pictures, make up poems, invent inventions!" --Papa Bear from "The Bernstein Bears: In The Dark"

  

An imagination. Everybody--whether young or old--possesses one. Some, I have observed, are much more in touch with their inner imaginations than others. But everybody possesses one. And with my crazy never-shuts-down head? I am one of those who is much more in touch with her inner imagination than others!! And, you know what? This is a cosmic blessing, as it enables me to write fictional children's stories!! Because after all. My lively imagination just created twin leprechaun characters!! And, occasionally? My imagination can produce some wild, far out images, like a weird dream. Such was the case after an incident with Rose. I awoke early, as per usual, and turned on this very flat-screened computer. What I was doing, I do not recall. Fooling around and wasting time? Reading/commenting on people's Blogs? Just simply waking up? Suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard a loud booming sound, but could not determine what it was. Our Army conducting practice flights? Now that gives a brand new meaning to the term "o dark thirty", doesn't it? Were commercial airliners flying too low? Again? Whatever the loud booming sound was, it most certainly spooked Rose!! Poor baby!! Rose--who had been sound asleep in my bedroom--abruptly stood up and made contact with the closed door. BAM!! This flat-screened computer is located right next to my bedroom, so I can--for the most part--hear everything that Rose does. Which is quite convenient!! Now, Rose merely perks her floppy velvet-soft ears whenever jets fly above our house. She does not make impact with a closed door!! Which lead my internal Sherlock Holmes to only one logical conclusion. Thunder. I immediately jumped up and opened the door to console a terrified Rose. Later, my lively imagination produced this wild, far out, yet comical image. If Rose were a cartoon character--like in an old Mickey Mouse episode--she would have shot right through that door!! And survived it!! Then there would have been a canine-shaped hole in my bedroom door!! And, by the way? That canine-shaped hole would have closed back up within seconds!! No need to repair it!! Now, imagine that. You know what? Papa Bear was absolutely correct!!

"A lively imagination is one of the best things a cub can have. It's imagination that lets us paint pictures, make up poems, invent inventions!" --Papa Bear from "The Bernstein Bears: In The Dark"   

"What Do You Do?"

Blogging Friends.... Warning. This is yet another self-serving "therapy session". {Don't worry. I am not suffering from any minor mood swing-infused pity parties!!} So, come. Sit. Have a cup of tea, coffee, soda, wine, or just plain water. Read on as God gradually works through my life....

"Minuscule is good!

Trust me, it’s much better than thinking everything you do is important and meaningful. That is not good.” --Robert Downey Jr.

I was lying on the "bed" at my dermatologist's office. For those who are unaware. Awhile ago, I mysteriously lost some hair on top of my head. Ugh. We made an appointment with this dermatologist, Dr. E., who performed a biopsy. Which did not even hurt!! I was born with craniosynostosis. I possess an abnormally hard skull, remember? This biopsy determined that I suffer from a rare case of acne. My ugly "snake skin" bald patch will never, according to Dr. E., heal itself. Ever. I will always have an ugly "snake skin" bald patch on top of my head. And what's worse. I could, eventually, lose all of my hair over time. But "bald is beautiful", right? Even a lumpy head with Frankenstein-like scars? Because. No chic-looking hat will even fit my head. And adjustable baseball caps? They tend to give me headaches. Anyway. As a potential prevention, I am now swallowing some pill twice daily. So far so good!! Back to my story. So I was lying on the "bed" at Dr. E.'s office. She had strongly advised that, in addition to those pills, I also should be given a steroid injection.... Through my skull.... Repeatedly. That's right. You know what? I've never minded needles--so long as they are clean, of course!!--and, need I repeat that I was born with craniosynostosis? I possess a freakishly hard skull!! Honestly? It merely felt like several little bee stings, minus the itchy sensation afterward!! I have experienced a flu shot that hurt much worse than those steroid injections!! While I lie there, Dr. E. made casual small talk with me as she shot my skull. Then Dr. E. asked a question that I have, for several months now, loathed. It was with good intention, really, when Dr. E. asked me this.

What do you do?

Answer?

I am a writer, an artist who paints pictures with words.

This is my phrase, which I coined. It's often a manta of mine. Which, I never chant five times like I do with other far more motivating phrases. Because, frankly, it is too long!!

I am a writer, an artist who paints pictures with words.

It is such an accurate sentence which, hopefully, pertains to what I do. I write this as a statement loud and proud. Yes, loud and proud. However. During moments when the subject that I write either resurfaces within my crazy head and/or is mentioned in conversation, suddenly, I would become a reserved, bashful child. Which, I never was!! It is during such moments when I would often mentally push myself to share with people that I'm a writer. Yep. Thoughts have gone something like this. I'm a writer.... I'm a writer.... I'm a writer.... But I would seldom ever actually be vocal about it. And when I have shared with people that I'm a writer? I need boldness first!! And you know what? I understand completely why I have always initially shied away from telling people that I'm a writer. It took my slow brain quite some time to figure out. But I understand completely. Being a writer, an artist, is such a cosmic part of who I am!! It flows strongly within my D.N.A.!! Much like being an oddball does!! Or my Scottish/"Irish"/German-Russian/American blood!! I am proud to be a writer!! So why, why, have I seemingly uncharacteristically become an introvert when it resurfaces within my crazy head what I do? Because.

I am a writer, an artist who paints pictures with words.

But I'm not published. Not yet. Plus, truth be told? I have dreaded this all-too-common question which, usually, inevitably follows.

"Have you ever thought about getting published?"

Yes. As a matter of fact, I have thought about getting published. A lot. Thanks for asking. Insert sarcastic, derogatory eye roll. Then, I discovered that it was emotionally easier to say something such as this. "I write. I love to write!! I write fictional children's stories. I have a Blog where I post my stories." Then I would swiftly add this. "I'm unpublished, though." To the point and nonchalant, I would meanwhile attempt my very best at controlling complex emotions as those last three words were spoken. Today? I still feel strongly that God's answer to whether or not I should become a self-published children's author is this. "Not right now." I felt it while aimlessly wandering through Barnes & Noble's children's book corner the other day. I feel it here at home. I felt it in church yesterday morning. "Not right now." And for the very first time, I feel oddly at peace with not obtaining my dream of becoming an author. So now? During moments when the subject that I write either resurfaces within my crazy head and/or is mentioned in conversation, I vow to say something such as this. With confidence!! "I write. I love to write!! I write fictional children's stories. I have a Blog where I post my stories. But I'm not published. Not yet, anyway. I feel like God's telling me 'not right now' right now. I still have some growing to do as a writer!!" How was that? Which leads me back to Dr. E.'s question.

What do you do?

Answer?

I am a "children's writer". I do not hope to someday become one. Why? Because I already am a "children's writer"!! Right now. Whether published. Or not. I'm already envisioning my fictional children's story for April.... Because I possess a crazy never-shuts down head!! So stay tuned!! 

Look for my March fictional children's story to be posted on "Minuscule is good!"--Lord willing!!--tomorrow!!